


Metal Heart

by raxilia_running



Category: Free!
Genre: Established Relationship, Lemon, M/M, Spoiler for Episode 9, Yaoi, future!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-04
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-16 03:44:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2254611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raxilia_running/pseuds/raxilia_running
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Rin is a lighthouse in the dark journey through the remnants of his teenage years, the person he looks up to when he feels ready to give up. It hurts, seeing regret every time he looks at him. He knows well, even if he'll never say, that Rin feels guilty for not noticing his troubles sooner. Sousuke doesn’t know the right words to make him change his mind but he would do anything to reassure him.</i><br/>Five months have passed since the medley relay and Rin and Sousuke are trying their best to deal together with Sousuke's problems, but words aren't the only way to solve things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Metal Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [terryh_nyan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/terryh_nyan/gifts).



> I'd like to thank not only God but also [terryh_nyan](http://archiveofourown.org/users/terryh_nyan/pseuds/terryh_nyan). Without her help this fic would be here but with a lot more (sometimes hilarious) mistakes. This is my first time writing a fanfic straight in English. This is also my first time writing about SouRin (a new OTP is born!) aaaand... this is my first time writing in the "Free!" fandom. A lot of first times, uh. I really hope this fanfic is at least readable. I like Sousuke and Rin and their interactions; plus, after episode nine, I was struck by a lot of angsty feelings about these two. I really wanted to write something happy about the two of them, possibly engaged in a relationship. This fanfic isn't exactly _angst-free_ but I wanted to fill it with some... hope? I don't know if Sousuke's shoulder can heal in the future, I hope so even after episode 10 (side note: this fic was completed BEFORE episode 10 was released). Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy the reading~

_I want to be a friend you can rely on_  
 _You can lean on and trust_  
 _I want to understand_  
 _So I can forgive and be willing to love_

_I wish I wasn't flesh and blood_  
 _I would not be scared_  
 _Bullets built with me in mind_  
 _Then I could be saved_  
 _**[Metal Heart | Garbage]** _

The door creaks open and the sound of heavy and careful footsteps resonates into the room.

“Oss,” utters Rin, still half-absorbed in his books.

“Oss,” Sousuke mumbles back, before stopping behind his roommate. His green gaze slides onto Rin’s back, getting stuck in the contours of his muscles that stand out even under his gray t-shirt. He gets lost in the silent contemplation of Rin’s curved shape, then he lightly sighs and lands blatantly on the bottom bunk.

“How did it go?” Rin mutters, while he sloppily scribbles something on a notebook.

Sousuke doesn’t answer and for a couple of seconds no noise is heard in the room. Then he suddenly sighs and stretches out on the bed, as he doesn't have anything important to say.

A blunt clunk points out that Rin has just dropped his pencil.

“Sousuke…” he mutters, drumming his fingers against the cold surface of the desk.

After another, never-ending moment of silence, Sousuke finally speaks.

“Fine”.

He stares briefly at the top bunk base and then closes his eyes, already knowing what Rin’s reaction will be.

“Sou-su-ke!” he articulates angered and the racket of the chair scraping against the floor partially covers his voice.

Rin stands up and turns toward him but Sousuke has his face covered by one arm, so he can’t see his eyes.

“And how many times have I told you not to sit on _my_ bunk?!”.

With the corner of his mouth raised, Sousuke directs a smirk to Rin but doesn’t move an inch.

“I forgot,” he lies quietly, his deep tone echoing in Rin’s eardrums before sinking into the bottom of his chest.

“You better remember it, then!” he growls, while trying to shake off the lingering numbness that Sousuke’s voice – and generally everything that concerns him – leaves inside him.

He then proceeds to climb onto the bed, in an attempt to restore his supremacy on the bottom bunk, and grabs his roommate’s right wrist, securing it between his thin fingers.

“Oi, look me in the eye when you talk with m…” Rin stops abruptly when Sousuke’s right hand seizes his wrist.

“It was you who started talking with me, not the opposite,” he mocks him, grabbing his other wrist too. Trapped by his large palms, Rin nearly falls against his chest and is forced to prop himself up on both his knees.

He ends up standing above Sousuke, finally looking into his eyes, and he doesn’t let the melancholic shade in his green eyes slip past him. As if he can read his mind, Sousuke understands outright the worried look on his face.

“And I’m not so sure I want to sleep in the top bunk anymore” he mumbles, swiftly changing the subject.

“But I won at rock-paper-scissor!”.

Rin utters those words like a nursery rhyme: living together with Sousuke means repeating the same script nearly twice a month.

Sousuke takes advantage of his temporary distraction and shores himself up on his left elbow, using it as a lever to overturn Rin on his back.

“I want a re-match,” he utters with strained voice, trying to fight back Rin’s efforts to regain the top.

“Like hell! The first win is the only one that matters,” the other replies with a chuckle, and he lands a playful punch on his roommate’s chest.

“Ow, that hurts!”.

Sousuke isn’t serious, as his half-hidden smile proves, but suddenly his features twist and his right arm collapses too quickly under the other’s pressure.

Rin notices his discomfort immediately and retreats, his right hand going up Sousuke’s right arm. His fingers carefully caress his elbow, supporting him, and Sousuke rests completely on his left arm, his hand sunk into the mattress beside Rin’s head.

“Does it hurt?” Rin whispers, barely touching his skin, and Sousuke shakes his head with a still pained expression.

“Nah, it’s nothing.”

“No, Sousuke, it’s _something_ that’s hurting you… and I want to know,” Rin’s voice raises and he furrows his eyebrows, getting up and helping Sousuke sit in front of him.

“Please. I’m here to help you but you have to speak up. I can’t read your mind. Not in this case.”

Rin’s eyes are mixed with conflicted feelings: anger, worry and, overall, confusion. Sousuke looks at them and then looks at Rin’s figure, still standing in front of him, his gaze fixed on his face, trying to decipher the riddle that is his quiet expression.

Sousuke’s eyelids flutter briefly but then he opens his eyes, facing Rin’s inquiring look directly.

“It’s nothing. It doesn’t hurt as bad as before anymore. And the doctor said that my shoulder… is getting better. Really!” he stresses when he meets his boyfriend’s skeptic look.

“You’re not lying ‘cause you don’t wanna make me worry, are you?” Rin insists, still not one hundred percent persuaded. He trust him, but he knows he has this awful tendency of keeping everything to himself.

“That isn’t the problem.”

Sousuke suddenly stops and simply stares at Rin, hesitating in front of his red irises, filled with a moving and kind of irritating determination, without actually speaking a single word.

“Then what?!” Rin blurts out, unable to wait patiently for his boyfriend to unfold all of his thoughts.

Sousuke sighs deeply, without losing eye-contact, and it seems he’s gathering the energy to speak from every single nook of his body.

“I don’t trust him. And I don’t think I’ll be able to become a pro after a five months break. Supposing that I’m going to heal completely”.

Sousuke’s green eyes become gloomy, as a sudden cloud darkens his face, and his shoulders slump, even if his features remain composed as usual.

Rin sees all the desperation filling his traits, though, and can easily imagine the self-loathing overwhelming him: Sousuke's probably thinking he's shoving too much worry over his shoulders. He shakes his head and grabs Sousuke’s right shoulder, forcing him to raise his head.

“You’re getting better and your career isn't stopping cold over a mere five months break, I assure you. I can’t… come and fix your shoulder, even if I would – and, believe me, I want to – but I can cheer you up. I know it isn’t a lot but you can’t give up, Sousuke. Not now. It’s too early to stop dreaming.”

Rin has the horrible impression that his words aren't having the slightest effect. It's not the first time he has this kind of conversation with Sousuke and he’s afraid he just doesn't have what it takes to handle his boyfriend’s problems.

A bitter smirk lifts up the corners of Sousuke’s mouth and he places his left hand over the injured shoulder, where Rin’s hand already is.

“It’s enough,” he reassures him with the most reconciliating gaze, but Rin doesn’t seem convinced.

“No, it’s not. I’d like to give you more than… words”.

Rin makes a disgusted face, disappointed with himself, and the grip on his hand tightens, forcing him to bring his attention back to Sousuke.

“You give me courage and keep dreaming for the two of us. That’s more than enough,” Sousuke’s voice is calmer than before, woven with a soft melancholy and that particular sweetness he saves only for a few, selected people.

Rin doesn’t smile back but raises his free hand instead, cupping Sousuke’s nape and pushing him clumsily toward his chest. Sousuke bumps into it with a surprised look and, for a moment, stands still.

Then he slowly captures Rin’s waist between his arms and rests on his shoulder, comforted by ten fingers that embrace his large back, cover his spine, and count his ribs.

He sighs, a sigh filled with satisfaction, like a cat purring, and lightly nibbles at Rin’s neck. He feels his back arching, ever so slightly, and then his head moving to the side, a cheek gently resting on his temple.

“You don’t have to suffer in silence. It’s simpler if you share your problems with someone else,” Rin wheezes over the last syllables, repeating a lesson he'd learnt one year before, and sloppily caresses the short and spiky hair on his nape.

“But you don’t have to worry about me,” Sousuke retorts, before his lips starts to trace Rin’s jaw. He feels him tremble against his mouth but then his head is firmly gripped between two hands and he’s forced to face Rin’s angered look.

“Let _me_ decide the things I want to worry about, okay? It’s my choice and it’s not a burden, helping you”.

Rin’s fingertips sink into his cheeks and it’s as if his gaze is trying to pierce his eyes and imprint those words directly into his mind.

Sousuke knows what he’s thinking all too well, because it’s something very similar to his own thoughts: Rin is worried that they won't be able to reach their dream together, paralyzed by the idea he’ll have to leave him behind, sooner or later. In his place, Sousuke would feel the same guilt – as if his success would directly hinge on Rin’s failure – and the awful sense of being completely powerless.

It’s a strange and heavy burden, feeling responsible for his failures not only toward himself but also toward Rin… and it’s a warm impression, knowing that his friend cares for him in the most permanent and desperate way.

Words aren’t what Rin’s looking for in him, though, but a true belief in what he said. He finally finds it in the way Sousuke lightly nods. It’s a silent acknowledgment, what passes through their grave gazes.

Then Sousuke reaches out slowly and meets his lips in the softest of kisses. The tips of their noses touch, while their mouths open slightly, and soon their breaths mix up. Large palms enclose Rin’s face and long fingers pass through his red locks, warming up skin and muscles.

They stay like that, sitting one in front of the other, and touching each other's faces, as if lips and fingers could explain their feelings better than a million complicated talks.

Rin feels Sousuke’s driving need of physical contact, even if his moves are calm and he lets his hands gently slip down his back. He catches Sousuke’s right hand, fingers intertwining tightly, while he lays back, until their chests collide. He can feel Sousuke’s heartbeat against his ribs – the quiet rhythm that slowly but inexorably accelerates – his moves while he adjusts himself between his thighs, his left hand standing still on his hip.

Rin tastes of strawberries and something super-sweet – like cookies – but suddenly he also tastes of the irony flavor of his own blood, when he playfully bites his tongue with his sharp teeth.

Their kisses turn more and more moist, while they start to grind against each other and clothes become a hindrance, but they don’t undress, simply enjoying one another's presence.

And then wet lips lay upon his neck, a hand sliding between their bodies, and Rin lets out a yearning, muffled sigh.

“Sousuke…”.

Warm whispers evaporate in the excited atmosphere that surrounds them and Rin’s fingers travel down Sousuke’s spine, back and forth, back and forth, until they stop over the hem of his trousers.

Rin’s touch is like the tide, threatening to swallow him entirely, but Sousuke doesn’t fear it. Being Rin’s boyfriend – being reciprocated by him – is always more than he dares to wish for. And even if his fondness can’t heal all of his injuries, it’s surely the best support he could ever have.

Rin is a lighthouse in the dark journey through the remnants of his teenage years, the person he looks up to when he feels ready to give up. It hurts, seeing regret every time he looks at him. He knows well, even if he'll never say, that Rin feels guilty for not noticing his troubles sooner. Sousuke doesn’t know the right words to make him change his mind but he would do anything to reassure him. Soon he feels a familiar tension under his palm and the fabric he’s touching with so much care. Rin's back arches and his abdomen presses against Sousuke’s when he deepens his stroke, but Rin promptly retaliates by grabbing him and the thick fabric of the joggers together with much more vehemence.

It’s only a matter of time before they both start gasping for breath, Rin’s teeth deeply sunken in the other's nape’s skin, Sousuke’s lips slightly open to kiss his temple and both of their free hands still intertwined, so tightly their knuckles are nearly white.

“Sousuke… Sousuke… the door!”

Rin utters those words, as if he’s emerging from a dream, and it takes more than a second for Sousuke to intercept those words and stop.

“What…?” he mutters against his hair, his cool expression only barely shaken under urges far more pressing than a door.

“The door… it's open! What if someone barges in and sees us… ?!”

The only _someone_ Rin has in mind is a certain redhead kouhai with the dangerous tendency to make too much noise. He doesn’t want to imagine what would happen, if he’d burst into their room in a delicate moment…

“Oh… you’re right” Sousuke simply states and then stands up, depriving him of his warmth to move toward the door.

He locks it up and then goes back, taking it too easy in Rin’s opinion. He doesn’t lay down, though, and does nothing but staring thoughtfully at him.

“Well… what?!” Rin blurts out, addressing him with an impatient sneer.

Sousuke's gaze slides on his boyfriend’s still reddened cheeks and on his intent red eyes, then he shrugs, trying to shake off the impulse to bluntly pin him down.

Instead, he takes off his t-shirt with a loose gesture, like it bothers him to do even that, and Rin can't help it but staring at his bare chest, bewitched for more than a second.

“Are you trying to impress me? You know I see you naked every day, right?” he mocks him, regaining his composure.

“I only wanted to make myself comfortable,” Sousuke asserts, climbing back on the bottom bunk. “I hate doing it dressed”.

Rin bursts into laughter in the face of the hilarious gravity with which Sousuke’s just spat those words, but has to disguise a violent tremble when his boyfriend’s hands scramble under his t-shirt, warm fingertips brushing against hot skin.

“Oi, what are you do…ing…” Rin exales, shivering when a pair of lips is laid on his bare chest.

“I'm helping you undress,” Sousuke can’t conceal a sarcastic smirk and his roommate looks down at him, letting out a snort.

“How considerate!” he bursts out but then raises his arms, allowing him to slip off his t-shirt. Sousuke’s fingers travel across them with exceptional care, brushing against his muscles and making him tremble again.

They reunite in a kiss and a tight embrace, naked skin against naked skin, and their hands are rather fast to stretch elastics and lower hems, feeling hips and thighs and knees in the pleasurable process of getting completely naked.

Rin rubs against his crotch, drawing his boyfriend into his passionate rhythm and out of his usual, sloth-like seriousness. Sousuke’s cheeks turn red and lust clouds his green eyes when Rin’s hand begins to stroke him with more energy. It’s difficult even keep on kissing, as they search for air, trying not to succumb too early to the pressure, sticky knuckles colliding while their motions become erratic and impulsive.

“Wait a minute…” Rin blurts out, two fingers touching briefly the corner of his mouth.

“What?”.

Sousuke stares at him with a dazed look, pulled out of his warmth too soon. A pair of melted red eyes stare back, before Rin talks again.

“You shouldn’t force yourself too much…”

“So... what do you suggest? Wanna stop?”

Sousuke is serious, dramatically ready for such a possibility, but his entire body aches in grief at the idea of separating from Rin.

“Hell, no. I only think we should flip so you can lay on your back”.

“Oh, you want to ride me, how cute,” Sousuke says politely, raising himself on an elbow.

“Stop spitting nonsense and stay down!”

Rin pushes him on his back without much consideration but the sincere smile on Sousuke’s face makes him too happy to be really angered by a mere joke.

“I’m just telling it like it is!”

Sousuke’s hands crawl up Rin’s torso, eyes focused on his gloriously naked body, and he feels the urge to touch him so bad that it nearly hurts.

Rin doesn’t speak, he simply opens his lips, letting two long fingers enter his mouth and play lightly with him. He sucks them, licking eagerly the rough skin of his joints, and sometimes nibbles at them, leaving marks that won’t disappear so soon.

Sousuke’s free hand is further down, his large palm stimulating both of them in a deep but sadistically slow rubbing motion, and Rin has some difficulties keeping himself focused and avoiding bursting out in loud moans.

Sousuke is as hot and taut as him and keeps moving quietly against his groin, gasping silently without removing his gaze from his lips.

Rin doesn’t flinch when those same, wet fingers trails his spine down to the base of his back. He simply lifts himself up to let them soak his skin and slowly but relentlessly sink into him. He lets out a pleased moan, trying to move toward his wrist, but Sousuke takes his time, enjoying the warmth inside him and the soft sensation of his muscles clamped around his fingers.

“Oh, yes…” he mutters, suffocating a groan against the back of his hand, when Sousuke’s fingers plunge inside him up to the knuckles. He twists and turns as Sousuke swirls them as deep as he can, making him jolt when he reaches his most sensitive spot.

“Sousuke… hurry!”

Rin doesn’t beg, he _orders_ to be released from the growing need of being taken, until pleasure will be too much to be endured.

Sosuke’s traits soften at that request but he brushes his fingertips more and more, basking in Rin’s muffled moans and in his excited expressions. When he finally releases him of his fingers, he is completely flushed and his chest raises and lowers quickly but Sousuke knows he isn’t in a better condition.

He supports him with his fingers deeply dug into his hips, when Rin stands up on his knees and then slowly descends upon him.

They both sigh quietly when they get in contact with each other and all that matters is that small space where their bodies interconnect, a world made of hot flesh, tensed muscles and sweat. He can feel his desperate pulse as he sinks inside him, and his harsh breaths resonate into his eardrums, giving rhythm to his own breaths too.

It has always been like this: in every single aspect of their life together, it's always Rin that blazes a trail for the two of them and Sousuke follows him, an eye out for the smallest of his gestures.

He feels like a moth with the light, unable to look away even if he's risking to burn himself. He follows Rin even now, nails plunged in the sticky flesh and hips leaning upwards for the sole purpose of burying himself deep inside his body.

Rin props himself up against his chest, sitting on his lap while he breathes again, and suddenly Sousuke’s fingertips brush over one of his cheeks, moving a red lock away from his face.

They share the most eloquent gaze and Rin moves his hips without looking away, offering him an obscene and pleasured expression when he presses against his crotch, feeling him entirely in his insides.

Rin is eager to consume the two of them but Sousuke’s palms force him to slow down his pace and feel every little detail of what they’re sharing: how his body adjusts to Sousuke’s intrusion, accepting every inch of him; how scorching and good his thrusts can be, when they hit him with vexing slowth.

If Rin is short of breath, Sousuke has completely lost it: he stares amazed at the beautiful body that relentlessly rides him and he caresses his features with his green eyes, wondering how much he can bend without snapping.

Soon everything changes in a confused jumble of ragged breaths, erratic movements and yearning touches. Sousuke’s large palms are everywhere they can reach: on his chest, on his belly, on his waist and on his back, memorizing every curve and irregularity of his body.

Rin violently arches his back when one of them halts between his thighs, inciting him relentlessly. There’s something annoying and amazing in the tranquility that Sousuke can bring out even when they’re both at their limit.

An outer spectator could even judge Sousuke as impassive but Rin is too close not to feel the real magnitude of his excitement, how fierce and disconnected his thrusts are by now and, above all, the look of silent devotion in his green eyes. He wants to kiss but he wants to come, his desire of release clashing with the wish to carry on for hours, until they’ll both too tired to even stay awake.

Sousuke decides for both, plunging all the way into Rin’s body: his scent, his warmth, the simple sight of his naked, muscular shape bent by the effort and the pleasure intoxicate him so much, it’s difficult even to keep his mind clear.

He strengthens his grip, rolling his thumb and tearing up the last remnants of his boyfriend’s stamina: Rin loses himself in between his palm and his thrusts, so deep that they reach him in the most hidden corner of himself and only then Sousuke relaxes, wedging in his clenched muscles with an inflamed sigh.

Rin can finally lean on his chest and they exchange a lazy kiss, letting go of the tension that still innervates their bodies.

“Hmm… how does it feel?” Rin murmurs, moving away from Sousuke and laying at his side.

“Good” he admits, folding his arms behind his neck with a satisfied sigh.

“And your shoulder?” Rin inquires, casting him a side glance.

“Not bad. And you? How was it?”.

“Not bad” Rin parrots him with a mocking grin.

“Judging from your expression just moments ago, you were feeling a lot more than _not bad_ ” Sousuke replies with a straight face and Rin can’t help but elbow him in the ribs.

“Ow, that hurts,” he complains, rubbing his side, but he doesn’t feel real pain from such a light hit.

“I can hurt you even more,” Rin insists, but falls on the mattress without fighting back when Sousuke grabs his wrists and leans over his face to kiss him once more.

“Next time I wanna bottom,” he abruptly says in between their sloppy kisses.

“You were below me, you can’t complain now!” Rin replies bothered but Sousuke isn’t deceived.

“You know what I mean”

“But I won at ro…” Rin starts but he’s abruptly interrupted by Sousuke’s calm voice.

“Nope, we agreed to taking turns, don’t pretend you forgot”.

“Ugh” Rin snorts, but he nods reluctantly, before returning the umpteenth kiss with a cranky bite.

Sousuke wants to heal quickly. He wants to follow Rin’s trail in the pool as he does when they make love, enticed by his moves and concentrated on getting their breaths to match.

Sousuke would sometimes return to their childhood days, when none of their dreams seemed impossible to achieve, but then he stares at Rin, laughing in his arms, and he knows he can’t go back.

It’s fair, because what he really wants now is to go ahead with Rin. He’ll find a way to chase their dream together, even if his shoulder can't heal properly. In spite of everything, Rin has chosen to stick to him until the end.


End file.
